Be who you are…and OWN it!

So this post is about some feelings that I’ve been having recently and I want to get them out without any judgment or criticism from people I know. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people try to be something/someone they are not. It drives me crazy! I think it stems from my dad who was always misrepresenting himself…he lied to my mom constantly. It was even to the point where my mom and my dad were never legally married because my dad lied and he was still married to someone else. I just cannot stand liars. One of the best compliments I have ever received was from a friend of mine. She told me that I am the realest person she has ever met. She said that I always tell the truth and am myself no matter what. This is the truth. I am myself and not afraid of it. I tell people the truth even when they don’t want to hear it. Some would call that blunt, but it is who I am. Anyways…the whole point of this rant is about a girl I use to be friends with that is completing misrepresenting herself and doesn’t seem to care at all. We’ll say this girl M. So M and I became friends about 3 years ago. I had met her through a guy I use to go out with. We didn’t really start hanging out until 3 years after I’d met her. To tell you the truth I’m not even sure why I ever started hanging out with her. I think it was because I was lonely and some of my other friends were busy and I didn’t want to sit home on the weekends. M has a very wild past. She used to be a stripper( or she may still be), and she has lived with several guys. She was the life of the party and I always had fun with her. She lived in a very expensive apartment that was around several restaurants and bars. We used to meet up at her place and we would walk over to our favorite bar. At the end of the night we’d order a pizza from the place next door to the bar, and then we’d stumble back to her apartment where we’d all eat pizza and pass out for the night. It was a lot of fun i’ll admit. Of course when you’re 23 you have no idea. Things changed at the end of that summer when she started going out with a guy friend of mine named J. I had a bad feeling when they started going out. This was not jealousy by any means. I’d known him for 5 years and there was never any romantic feelings between us. I felt protective over him because he was a nice guy and it appeared that he hadn’t had a serious girlfriend in a long time. I started to see what kind of a girl M really was when she moved in with J after only dating him for 3 months! I’d never seen anyone move in with someone so fast in my life. The other thing that bothered me was that she had several months left on the lease of the expensive apartment she had( which btw she was not paying for…her grandparents paid a years lease in advance for her…we’re talking about $12,000!). I think the reason she moved in with J was because he had a nice 3 bedroom home that he owned, he also had a good job too. She saw this as an opportunity. Well not long after she moved in with J she started bothering him about getting engaged. I felt bad for the guy because he had not known her that long and she was pressuring him to get engaged. Engagements take a lot of thought and planning. He ended up buying her a “promise” ring to keep her quiet for a while. That didn’t last long…she started talking about getting married and calling herself “pre-engaged”. This really drove me crazy and I didn’t understand why. I finally figured it out. I started to see M for the type of girl she really was. M was living with J pretty much for free. She never contributed anything to bills. She has a job as a CNA or medical assistant but she was hardly ever working. Plus she convinced J to buy her a new car. It just made me sick to see this girl take advantage of my friend. Of course this put me in an awkward position because on one had I was her friend, but yet I didn’t agree with what she was doing. I felt this way for months and I kept quiet. That is so unlike me because if I don’t like something I will say it. I think I didn’t want to hurt J so I kept quiet. Well keeping quiet only lasts so long. Finally in October 2011 I told M what I thought. It actually happened out of anger. See M and I got into a fight that stemmed from another friend of mine that I ended up losing just a few months before. M decided to say some very inappropriate things to me. She basically said I had a “chip” on my shoulder and I always had to be the center of attention and she was sick of it, also that I wasn’t an adult. Lets just say M chose the wrong words to say to me. I told her everything that I thought about her that built up over a years time. I ended it by telling her that atleast I owned my own home, and that she couldn’t even afford to pay rent on her own, she had to have her grandparents pay for it. Lets just say I got the last word and our friendship ended there…we have not spoken since. Do I feel bad for what I said? No I certainly don’t. She deserved every word I said and all of it was the truth. Fast forward 2 years….M and J broke up and M is about to get married to another guy that she has not even known a year. She got engaged to him after knowing him for 3 months. Yeah not much has changed. She is still the same person that she was 2 years ago. Only she is worse. She is completely misrepresenting herself. M says on her facebook page that she is an “RN” or registered nurse. She is not a nurse, and that is the biggest insult to all the nurses with nursing degrees. It bothers me that she wants that kind of recognition but doesn’t want to put in the time and effort to get it. Also, recently she posted a picture of her engagement ring. This ring is the fakest gottiest ring I have ever seen in my life. I would guess it is probably 4 carets. I’m not a jewelry expert but I have looked at ring before out of curiosity. A ring that size if it is real would cost you somewhere in the neighborhood of $60,000-$80,000. Now I know for a fact that M’s finance doesn’t make the type of money that he could afford a ring like that. Of course she plays it off that it is real. Is she kidding seriously? If anyone truly believes that her ring is real they are stupid. It just shows me that she is the same person and will never change but get worse. It makes me feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for her that she thinks she has to make stuff up just to get people to like her. Honestly it makes people dislike you more. Who really expects anyone to have a 4 carat diamond when they get engaged? Unless your fiance is wealthy its not going to happen. After looking at all of this it makes me even more thankful that I am myself. I don’t try to be someone I’m not. M once told me that I thought I was better than her. At the time I was friends with her I never thought that. But after everything I agree with her. I am better than her. I was raised in a wonderful family. I’ve had nice things my whole life and I’ve gotten to travel the world. I am also well educated and I have worked very hard. I never should have been friends with her…but of course I can’t change that. I have to keep moving forward and not look back at her or anyone else from my past. I need to focus on myself and being the best possible “Amanda” that I can be. There will be a time when I finally meet my soul mate and get engaged. At that time I will plan the perfect “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” themed wedding. I will get to enjoy all the wonderful things that she is missing out on. People like that are never truly happy, never really know love, and are always looking for something. I will be fulfilled and I will have my happy ending. By the time I get married she probably won’t be married anymore. So from here on out I’m done thinking about M and my past….I’m moving forward and looking to the bright future I have.

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